Growing up I was never afraid of the dark, or boogie men under my bed, or some secret monster world in my closet. I probably slept with a nightlight but it was only to watch the light bounce off the walls and ceiling. I’ve always liked and preferred a dark or dimly lit room to one full on with lights etc.
But there was something which would keep me up late at night, or freeze me in my tracks growing up. Death. I was terrified of it as a kid and I can vividly recall laying in bed going crazy thinking about how when I’m 33 I’ll have only maybe 40 to 60 more years to live!
Thought this would be fun and something a little different from my normal posts. We’ll see what my readers think. FYI this is supposed to be stuff you might not know about me. So being divorced, single, a follower of Jesus The Christ etc aren’t in this list.
Today is Veterans day and people all over the US are either thanking, congratulating or celebrating our men and women who serve in the military. The guy dressed out in camouflage below is my dad during one of his many days serving in the US Army. He’s retired now (full bird Colonel) but still pretty active. He’s what many would consider a lifer, meaning he’s dedicated his life to his chosen profession.
I was smacked in the face with a realization recently. I tend to pursue girls who are not initially interested in me. This isn’t a bad thing as I recognize I’m not one to really show an interest in a girl, in what might be considered “normal” routines. So it’s not surprising to me when I tell a girl I’m interested in her that 9 out of 10 times there is a little shock and surprise in their response. The nice thing is most of these girls have seen traits etc in me which cause them to be curious, so when I do announce my interest in them, they are happy to see where it goes or give me a chance.
What I’ve discovered in my dating patterns and in really looking back to my past relationships, going all the way back to my first relationship, is that I was always being accepted but never chosen. The girls would see my “resume”, ie the stuff I could offer them, and were more than happy to go into the relationship.
They would accept me for who I was and overlook the “missing” parts.
In life we love to point the finger. We love to say that this person wronged us. Or that this relationship failed because they did or did not do X, Y or Z. The blame game is rampant and even when we try not to point the finger we still end up putting blame elsewhere. I struggle a lot with the blame game. I constantly look for fault in others when things go wrong. I say things like “they just aren’t ready”, or “their spiritual maturity is not where it needs to be” and more. I looked at the situation and instead of looking at myself and my role I found something in the other person to justify their actions.
It wasn’t till after my divorce that I started to ask the question “How have I failed you”. For a long time there I was really good at doing this much-needed gut check. But over time my humility has shrunk and I’ve asked it less and less.
Decisions. We make them everyday multiple times a day. Some are made quickly with little to no time spent evaluating the options, while others are pondered on and brewed over for days, weeks, maybe even months.
Everything we do comes as a direct result of the decisions we make.
Andy recently did a sermon on this very subject entitled “Your Move” and has written a book (which I’ve yet to read or even buy as of this blog post) entitled “The Principal of the Path” The basic theme of both of these great resources is that the decisions we make determine the path we will follow and every decision impacts our lives.