It’s Father’s Day here in the United States and a few other places around the world. I’m one of the few kids in the world today who knows his Dad and has a relationship with him.
My relationship though with my Dad hasn’t always been what it is today for many reasons. I spent many years trying to get that quality Dad time with him only to have more moments without it then with it.
Here’s the thing. I never really felt and still don’t feel like I missed out on anything. I look back and while I had my fair share of times without my dad he was always there when I mattered.
My dad taught me to parallel park by placing two trash cans TOO close together in our cul-de-sac. He encouraged me to swing at the ball in baseball even though I was happy squatting down and being walked. I was the official beverage grabber whenever we went sailing with our neighbors. And much more.
My Dad and I have had an interesting relationship for sure. We haven’t always communicated between each other best but when we did there was little doubt where either of us stood. Of course I rebelled like any young boy will and probably should.
When I graduated high school I went off to Senior Week with the rest of my High School class. A week on the beach with no rules, no parents, and little to no care for the consequences of our actions. I did three thing on this trip which at the time were awesome in my mind.
- I died my hair yellow. I was going for blonde but when you buy hair dye from a tattoo parlor and bikers shop it’s not the same as you’d get at Wal-Mart.
- I met a girl and she braided my hair into corn rows.
- I got my ear pierced.
Now I grew up fearing my Dad. Not a fear as “He’ll kill me or beat the snot out of me” but more a respectful fear. I’ve always been very respectful of my fathers thoughts and wishes. So the above 3 items I knew where not things he would really approve of. But I was about to go to college and I needed to shake things up a bit.
So after a week at the beach I come home and avoid actually GOING home till I had too. I even made one of my friends go with me to help keep the fireworks to a minimum.
I didn’t need to worry about fireworks.
Fathers are amazing. Sometimes they can do so little and it can have the most profound effect on you. I show up at home, right as dinner is served. My mom, sister and dad at at the dinner table in the kitchen and I walk in. My sister of course immediately makes a comment about my yellow corn row braided hair and my mom notices the bright blue earring.
My dad looks at me. Doesn’t say a word. Doesn’t even show any form of expression on his face. He then slightly shakes his head and goes back to dinner.
He knew what I did, probably why I did it, and knew that even though he didn’t “like it”, that it was temporary and just me being me.
I can remember standing there all nervous and wondering what was going through his head. When nothing came out and I got no reaction I was on some levels crushed, and on other levels relieved.
I was crushed because I expected more. I expected a lecture, maybe even an argument or a fight or something. I was relieved though because I got none of that.
It wasn’t till years later that I realized just how awesome that moment was with my dad.
We don’t know why our Dad’s do the things they do. We might not always like their choices, their decisions, or the way the handle stuff. There will be good times with our Dad’s, and bad times. We’ll have moments where we respect them and moments were we wish someone else was our Dad.
Me, I’ve had them all at one point or another.
But today I’m glad I have the Dad I have and hope someday I’ll be better then him. Not out of spite, anger or anything negative but because by me being a better father to my kids (when I have them) then my Dad was to me, is the best way I know to show my Dad the legacy he left within me.
Happy Fathers Day….