Decisions. We make them everyday multiple times a day. Some are made quickly with little to no time spent evaluating the options, while others are pondered on and brewed over for days, weeks, maybe even months.
Everything we do comes as a direct result of the decisions we make.
Andy recently did a sermon on this very subject entitled “Your Move” and has written a book (which I’ve yet to read or even buy as of this blog post) entitled “The Principal of the Path” The basic theme of both of these great resources is that the decisions we make determine the path we will follow and every decision impacts our lives.
Every relationship we have and how we treat that relationship with our decisions is a direct reflection of us as a person.
The decision to date someone because we are lonely or don’t have “any better options”.
The decision to pursue the same person your best friend is pursing.
The decision to have an affair.
The decision to tell the boss we won’t do something out of moral obligation.
The decision to tell a family member they need help with an addiction.
The decision to have a tough conversation with a friend when no one else will.
The decision to clean out the basement and give it to good will instead of selling the stuff for a new TV.
All of these decisions say a lot about our character as a person. They are insights to ourselves which we probably don’t normally tell people but through our decisions and subsequent actions they speak volumes about our character.
I find that the longer I date someone, the longer I’m friends with someone, or the longer I work with someone, the more I begin to understand them. It’s important to have this time because it’s only over time that we see the true side of a person. It’s also for this very reason that I hate first impressions and feel bad for people who put so much stock in them.
No one knows themselves completely and more importantly no one is going to tell you everything about themselves. Therefore we have to experience people, in a variety of situations before we can truly understand them. We all have things we hide, things we are ashamed of, things which we don’t even realize we do. It’s only through our decisions that people can see and learn these things about us.
Over the past two years I’ve gotten to know a lot of people and I’ve been blessed to enjoy many seasons of life with them. With each experience I’ve learned more and more about the people in my life. These experiences have caused me to look at my past decisions and my current decisions to evaluate what kind of person I am portraying.
Are my decisions lining up with the person I’m trying to be every day?
That’s a hard question to ask yourself and it’s even harder when you start to dislike the answer. Anyone who reads that question and immediately answers yes isn’t looking deep enough. They aren’t looking at all their decisions in life but instead just looking at the ones they are comfortable looking at. I’m coming up on my 2 year anniversary for my big self-awareness kick and I can honestly say I still answer no to the above question.
We can always be better tomorrow then we were today.
There are times I experience jealousy which causes me to withdraw from people.
There are times I laugh at crude humor in the office knowing I don’t agree with it.
There are times when I see people being taken advantage of or being bullied and I still remain silent.
There are times when I want to scream and shake people and I refrain, while other times I shake too hard.
I’m not perfect I know this. I will never be exactly what or who someone needs me to be. I can only be the person I know to be.
I can only be.
My decisions will continue to reflect who I am even when I don’t admit to it. My decisions will show my struggle with self-confidence even when I boast I’m stronger. My decisions will show my desire to be in a relationship even when I claim I’m comfortable being single. My decisions will show just how much I’ve surrendered to God regardless of what I say or write.
My decisions are mine. They are scary. They are real. They are what define me.