One Is NOT The Loneliest Number

lonely tree in the snow... by santo rizzuto

I’m in Destin Florida for the Labor Day Holiday weekend participating in the Labor Day Retreat which is a Christians Singles Conference put on by BuckHead Church’s larger group NorthPoint Ministries.

Today, more specifically Saturday night, was the first session and it put something on me which I had always believed and thought about but wasn’t sure how to full express it.

Oneness is what we should all be striving for.

Now I know a bunch of you are going to read that and think. What the H E Double Hockey Sticks are you talking about Eric? Why should I be one when I can be two and for some of you three or more. Or you might even be thinking that you’ll never get married if you’re always seeking oneness.

I used to think the same thing. That I had to have someone. That I had to find that special someone to “experience life with”. That I wasn’t complete until I got married.

Then I got married and then I got divorced.

I thought my life was over when I got divorced. I thought no one would ever love me again. I figured my dating world would be reduced to the bottom of the barrel because why would someone want to date a divorced guy. I immediately jumped into the idea that I needed to find someone. So I did want every other divorced person does, thinks of doing, or threatens to do.

I hit the bars and I hit them hard.

Lucky for me God had other plans and as I said the other night in small group. “He (God) just kept putting unattractive girls in front of me“. Which was a good thing, because I wasn’t ready to date at all. So I took a year off thinking I would focus on myself and God and then I’d be ready.

Wrong again. Thanks for playing.

A year ago this month, I started down a journey I thought would end well but didn’t. We’ll leave it at that because what’s really important is that I learned I wasn’t ready. I thought I knew myself and who I was in Christ but in reality I didn’t have a clear picture at all. I thought I knew the point of dating and why we date.

I thought we dated in order to marry. Wrong again stop playing, seriously.

You see that’s the problem. We all look at dating as just a step along the final goal to get married. Then once we are married we just settle into our routines. With this kind of planning and thinking it’s not a wonder the divorce rate is so high. We spend a ton of time planning our weddings but how many of us plan our marriage?

The next time I get married I’m going to spend more time planning my marriage then my wedding.

I wish I could take credit for that nugget of wisdom but alas it was my good friend Michelle’s comment. But it’s so true. No one plans their marriage, we just “do” marriage rather then be married. We play house and wonder why we struggle so much when things get rough.

God has it designed that a man and a woman when they marry become one flesh. We don’t become two. One plus One makes One in God’s eyes. But we cannot become one if we are not one with ourselves. One plus One only equals One in Gods eyes when we are right with Him and right with ourselves.

So you have to ask yourself? Are you One and are you happy being One or are you still trying to be Two?

4 Replies to “One Is NOT The Loneliest Number”

  1. That is awesome man! You are a wise man and I can't thank you enough for friendship and love that you have for me…

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