I remember the moment like it was yesterday. I had just started a 3 mile run with my best friend in high school Brian. I told him how a girl I was interested in and had been talking to over the past few weeks had decided to move forward and become my girlfriend. Brian smiles, tells me that’s awesome then says something which even today rocks my world.
“I’ll see you in four months Eric.”
You see Brian knew, along with all my other guy friends. As soon as I got into a relationship and made that commitment to the other person I was done. They would have very little to no contact with me during the course of our relationship which typically lasted 4 months or less for me. I would spend most, not all, but most, of my free time with this girl and her friends etc. I’d still hang with the guys but my mind was always elsewhere and I was always itching to “be with her”.
I’d like to say this was a high school thing, and a direct reflection of my maturity but alias that would be wrong. I continued this trend in college and even in my marriage. When I got involved with someone I lost everyone else.
How many of us woke up this morning, got ready for work, had breakfast and went into the office, school or on to our daily activities? At what point did you realize what today is? How did you feel at that moment?
For me I woke up immediately knowing what today is and what it was. As soon as I was conscious and able to move around, I’m not a morning person, the images, feelings and thoughts all came flooding back.
I haven’t posted a blog on this day for many reason but today my heart just won’t let it pass without sharing my experience, my thoughts and my hopes.
September 11th, 2001 had me living in Crofton MD and commuting to Silver Spring MD where I worked for an ISP. The day started out like every other day and my commute was like every other commute. Lots of cars, lots of traffic and lots of frustration because yet again traffic was going to put me in the office later than I wanted to be.
One thing which became very clear to me while doing my self awareness walk, and even this past weekend at the 2009 Labor Day Retreat, was the idea of how badly we take rejection. It’s amazing how when you are forced to look back on your past relationships you realize just how poorly you let them finish.
So many times when a relationship would end, I would have two reactions. I would either turn into a whiny crying kid who just had his red fire truck run over. Or I’d be the spiteful bully who’d push you into your locker just because you got chocolate pudding and I got vanilla.
So I got back from the 2009 Labor Day Retreat yesterday after a nice long 11 hour drive, which normally should have been no more than 6 hours. All day I’ve been asked by friends what I thought, what I got out of it, what was my favorite part etc. They all want to know what I thought about a conference on Datability.
I’m in Destin Florida for the Labor Day Holiday weekend participating in the Labor Day Retreat which is a Christians Singles Conference put on by BuckHead Church’s larger group NorthPoint Ministries.
Today, more specifically Saturday night, was the first session and it put something on me which I had always believed and thought about but wasn’t sure how to full express it.
Oneness is what we should all be striving for.
Now I know a bunch of you are going to read that and think. What the H E Double Hockey Sticks are you talking about Eric? Why should I be one when I can be two and for some of you three or more. Or you might even be thinking that you’ll never get married if you’re always seeking oneness.
After being newly married to a supportive and devoted husband for several months, contentment came up in conversation. Jay asked me if I was satisfied with our life. The question hit me hard because while my first inclination was to say, “Of course!” I realized I’d never really felt satisfaction before. Honestly, I think it’s a lifestyle more than something you acquire, but still, I’d never lived satisfaction. There was always a next step that was going to make everything better, something else to strive for and work for.
I look back and realize, in so many ways, that mentality stole from me things I will never get back because I never stopped to look side to side and smile at how far the Lord had brought me. I didn’t want the trend to continue, so I scoured the Word for every verse or mention of satisfaction and came to one very un-American conclusion, which I’m sure I’ll get hate mail for. Continue reading “The Simplicity of Contentment”
Proverbs 19:21 – Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
We all get burned from time to time in our relationships and it doesn’t matter if you are the one ending the relationship or the one being dumped. I’ve talked about Self Awareness and Wisdom but today it’s all about Intentions, a topic I’ve covered on my old blog. Our intentions and our perception of the other persons intentions have the possibility to either grow or burn the relationship.
I’m a 4 month guy. Meaning that most, OK all but 2, of my relationships lasted 4 months or less. I used to blame the local flower shops and my cooking skills as it always seemed after one of these events I got the boot. Many years went by before I decided it wasn’t my flower choices, or the dinner I cooked but something else. I wasn’t sure WHAT it was but I knew it wasn’t me. Continue reading “Relationships – Is This What You Intended?”
So I am sitting in my hammock swinging away and enjoying a little time with God. It’s a beautiful day but it’s early afternoon and the sun is really beating down on me. So being the sometimes selfish guy I can be, I shout up a little prayer to God for some cloud cover.
There are a ton of clouds around me, so I just asked him to blow a few of the bigger ones over the sun for me.