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“A wise man once said….” “A good friend once told me….” “The best advice I ever got….”
What do all these little starter sentences have in common? Besides usually being the start to some serious wisdom smack downs, they all typically come from someone much wiser then the person delivering the wisdom.
In my last post we talked about how relationships really start with you. In this one I want to focus on two other important topics. Wisdom & Wise Council.
I look at relationships failing, going the wrong direction, or just struggling and I see a lot of “problems” as an outsider. I see people hiding their struggles and not being real. Conversations, which NEED to happen, are not happening, along with many other “things”. Every single time a relationship starts to go south the first thing people do is turn to the person next to them and ask “What should I do?”
“Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” – Proverbs 15:22
While pondering this series of posts on relationships, I kept wondering where I should start. Should I talk about intentions first, or maybe wise council is where people should focus. Then again maybe we should spend time defining our boundaries or even coming up with the qualities we should be seeking.
I honestly had no clue where to put down the first stone. What topic would set the tone and the overall path we would journey down. So I took it to God and spent my days talking to Him. Most mornings, I wake up and talk to God as I get ready for my day. This is typically a very vocal conversation (meaning I talk out loud) and I’m sure my cats often wonder who I’m talking with. On this particular morning I was talking to Him about this series and as I transitioned from my closet to the sink, I realized where it all really begins.
About a year ago, when I was first getting involved with Buckhead Church, a bunch of us would gather at the local StarBucks before church. It was a time for us to catch up on everyone’s week, talk about life etc and generally just prepare for church that day.
Over time our group grew larger and larger and finally got to a point where we felt like it would be cool to do something “different”. So my buddy Aubrey came up with the fantastic idea to raise money for the Mocha Club. So we set up a Facebook group and called ourselves the StarBuckHeads. We got all our friends on the group and then sent them a tantalizing message to show up early this coming Sunday.
We had a huge response to our little campaign and we were able to raise about $250! Which isn’t bad for a bunch of 20 & 30 something’s at the last minute. Aubrey even built us a little web site to make taking donations easier and I like to think it really started something long term for some of those people.
Well time has passed and while some of us still gather on Sundays many of us have moved onto other service times, other locations around the world or just other endeavors. But this little act of kindness still sticks with me.
There are a lot of things I want to say about what went down with all the recent high profile relationship disasters. Just to recap in the recent months we’ve seen the following go down:
Jon & Kate begin the Divorce process
South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford caught in a relationship with a woman from Argentina
Chris Brown & Rhianna have domestic problems
Billy Joel filed for Divorce
Usher filed for Divorce
Mel Gibson filed for divorce
and many many more….
Out of all this it’s not a surprise to see the divorce rate in America climbing. As a divorced man I have a lot of emotions, feelings and of course opinions about a lot of those people listed above. I also have my fair share of thoughts for those non celebrity divorces occurring without the headlines and media presence. Continue reading “Let's Talk Relationships….”
On my old blog I ran this post and got a great comment from an anonymous visitor. My anonymous visitor has some great thoughts and questions in the comments and we’ve talked via my comment system from time to time.
About a week or so ago I got this comment on that same post:
“Hey – it’s me “Anonymous” again. I had bookmarked this in my favorites and again was doing some research about Christianity and wanted to get your thoughts or recommendations about where I can get some more insight. I’m having trouble with the “Christian” belief that only Christians are saved and going to heaven. I also am trying to learn more about baptism and being saved. I’ve read many places that you don’t have to be baptized to be saved, but if this is the case, why are some Christians forcing it on me? I don’t feel comfortable doing it because I don’t think I need to do it if it’s going to cause so many problems for my family. I also believe I already have a relationship with God, and that he loves me. Exactly the way I am. Baptized or not. He knows me inside and out and understands everything I am going through when no one else seems to. I also disagree with the belief that only those who are Christian will get to heaven, because it imples that the majority of the people in my life are going to hell. While they do believe in God, and are good people, they grew up with different religions and choose to have a relationship with God that way.”
It’s Father’s Day here in the United States and a few other places around the world. I’m one of the few kids in the world today who knows his Dad and has a relationship with him.
My relationship though with my Dad hasn’t always been what it is today for many reasons. I spent many years trying to get that quality Dad time with him only to have more moments without it then with it.
Here’s the thing. I never really felt and still don’t feel like I missed out on anything. I look back and while I had my fair share of times without my dad he was always there when I mattered. Continue reading “Happy Fathers Day”
I’m not sure who said it but I know it was someone a whole lot smarter then me. This person made the correlation between people dating and earning their high school diploma. The idea being that when you are dating someone, you are spending a huge amount of time getting to know them and discovering them.
Over time you figure out if this person is the one for you or not. That step from dating to engagement, which eventually leads to marriage, is when you obtain your high school diploma for that person.
Now we all know that a high school diploma just gets your foot in the door for most things in life. In order to really go far you should probably get a college degree. An Associates will do but a Bachelors will of course open up even more doors for you. From there you can get a Masters and maybe even a Doctrinal degree. Continue reading “Counting Smiles”
Man did I ever have a case of the Monday’s this week. I had a busy weekend but nothing to abnormal for me. But I was kind of in a funk the whole time and just couldn’t jump out of it. My personal time was spent watching movies and fighting with some code for a site I’m working on. I wasn’t reading my bible at all, my prayers where, well whiny and I just wasn’t feeling it.
Monday I woke up and was not looking forward to the week. I felt defeated. I didn’t know what was wrong but I know I had a lot of complaints. My news and Twitter feeds were full of sad stuff like online friends funerals, pastors stepping down, people arguing stupid stuff etc. All this just stacked up on top of me and what I was already fighting.
If truth be told I just wasn’t happy with Gods plan. I wasn’t happy with his timing and I was frustrated. I felt defeated, ignored, and just a lot of other stuff along those lines. Continue reading “Case Of The Monday's”